How about "Lint" for a boy?: 11 weeks (depending on the math)

It is not like I didn't realize we would have to name this baby. As I continue my journey in this foreign land of anticipatory parenthood, this was one of the more predictable stages. I guess I didn't realize how daunting a task it would be. My job has both helped and hindered me in the name game. Over the years school teachers are exposed to a lot of people and a lot of names. There are many jobs that deal with many names but in teaching there are personalities and actual faces attached to all the names. Over my 8 years of teaching I figure I have known over 500 people well enough to say that I would or would not want to give my child the same name as them. In most cases it is the latter. I believe there is a mathematical equation somewhere in here. For example, the more common the name, the more likely it is that I will have met someone that has "character traits" that have somehow permanently sullied that name for me. Great traditional names like Brian and Michael don't stand a chance- it only takes one nasty person to spoil the whole gaggle of amazing Davids. How about girls? I have been teaching middle school lately and I can safely say that my child will not be named Ashley or Jody. Not that I dislike those names. Again, it is a matter of mathematics and recurrance.

So we turn to the books. Baby name books are overwhelming, cruel and disappointing. With one, "Nah, I don't like it," a total envisioned existence is wiped out. After ten minutes if this, the competition gets heated and the negotiation starts. "Come on hon, it is not like I hate "Hannah", I just think it is pretty common these days. Do you really dislike "Amy" or are you trying to get back at me because I wasn't enamoured with "Hannah"?" Or when you finally agree on a name you discover that in Latin it means, "gatherer of fuel manure" or "one who has been shunned for theivery."

The only answer seems to be to make a name up that hasn't been used before. I am going for "Lint" if it is a boy and "Motherboard" for a girl.

Herbivore on Hold:10 weeks (depending on the math)

My wife had been a vegetarian for many years; an octo-lactavian, and fishian(?). I believe it was a combination of health (farm chemicals, etc.) and principle that motivated her. She never ate a bite of turkey, knowingly consumed beef broth or ate pepperoni while committed to her diet. Understanding that a healthy pregnancy involved dietary considerations, we reseached what things we needed to ensure she was eating. Iron and protein were the main areas for concern so we stocked up on green leaves and chick peas.

Things had been moving along swimmingly. I noticed that her appetite and the rate at which ate increased. She did eat a bit more and often want a snack. Then ten weeks into this pregnancy thing she says out of the blue, "I want a cheeseburger." Being the dutiful husband, I drove her to the nearest fast food joint and watched her devour a cheeseburger which for the past ten years, had repulsed her. I was happy to see her listening to her body. She has since downed an Arby's roast beef and cheese sandwich and some pork tenderloin but she is still uncommitted to the carnivores.

On our first visit to the obstetrician, she looked at my wife's records and commented on the fact she was a vegetarian. My wife quickly pointed out that she had fallen off the veggie wagon. The doctor said that when baby is born she can do what she wants, but right now, if her body is craving meat she should allow herself to do that.